


Heard From The Closet

by zim-tits (beansprean)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Bitty has a lot of feelings, Multi, Sad Kent Parson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7143665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beansprean/pseuds/zim-tits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a kegster junior year, Bitty once again finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, and struggles to sort out his feelings over Kent Parson. Minific imported from tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heard From The Closet

Bitty turns over several pairs of teal sneakers, looking for the puck that Nursey hid in Chowder’s room (”It’s bad luck, Bitty! What if I accidentally touch it?! Please get it out of there, I don’t know where he put it!”). The Epikegster is still raging downstairs, Jack and a few younger Falconers the stars in attendance. Bitty had hoped to find the puck quickly and get back to Jack, because he’d gotten a vague text from Kent Parson that he was in town and wanted to stop by. Bitty needs to be by his side for that.

He is digging a shut-out puck out of Chowder’s dress shoes (the only non-teal pair of sneakers) when Bitty hears the door open.

Jack’s voice is clear. “Parse, that’s not my-”

Bitty, protected from sight by the angle of the closet door, peeks through the crack to see Kent Parson stepping in, Aces hat in one hand and the other on his hip. Jack follows behind, looking unsure, and leaves the door open.

Parse looks around Chowder’s room with a smirk. “So what’s his favorite team?”

“Funny.”

“Naw, he’s a cool kid. Clutch goalie, too. Think he’d wanna cheat on the Sharks for Las Vegas?”

Jack shrugs. “You’d have to ask him.”

Parse turns, sighing heavily. “Dude, you look like you’re gonna bolt. I thought we were good.”

Jack matches his sigh, stepping further into the room. “We are good. Just…what did you want to talk about?”

Bitty stays as still as possible. He should be announcing his presence by now; if he doesn’t he’s officially snooping. And this time it’s on purpose.

Bitty doesn’t move.

Parse is crossing to the door now, and Bitty is hoping maybe he’ll leave, but he closes the door instead. 

Jack has turned to face him, only his back in Bitty’s view now, and Parse’s face beyond.

Parse looks like he’s gearing up for something, gaze flicking over Jack’s face and chest. “You look good. The Falconers are lucky to have you. And I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.”

Bitty imagines Jack is smiling. “Thanks, Kent. But I’m glad for my time at Samwell. It was…good. Great. For me.”

Parse’s mouth twitches up at the corners, sincere. “You’ve got a sweet team here, Jack. It’s nice you’re still close with them.”

“Yeah.”

“I wanted that for us, you know.”

Bitty sees Jack stiffen, old bitterness sweeping across him for a moment before he relaxes. “Me, too.”

Bitty imagines, suddenly, making a place for Parse in their lives. Him stopping by the Haus, visiting Jack in Providence, headlines proclaiming the junior hockey duo patching things up. Baking pies for him. Parse being around, not knowing who Bitty is to Jack, or who Jack is to Bitty. Jack having a relationship with Parse again, outside of Bitty’s awareness. A wave of dislike crawls over him, a feeling that he’s immediately ashamed of. He shouldn’t be jealous. He’s secure in his place in Jack’s heart. But he’s not secure of Kent Parson’s.

Parse smiles, eyes dark with something, and reaches out to plant his hands on Jack’s shoulders, Aces cap now stuffed in his pocket.

“It’s not too late. We can still… I still want to,” Parse murmurs.

Jack seems to be struggling to find a response, one of his hands hovering below Parse’s elbow.

Bitty is barely breathing, tense against the door jamb. He doesn’t know how to feel about this, how to react. He’s not used to the ugly feeling of _mine, mine, mine,_  clawing at the walls of his stomach.

Then Parse’s hands slide down, clench against Jack’s shirt front, and pull him forward. Their mouths meet and Parse’s eyes close.

Bitty feels like he’s been checked, like the behemoth from freshman year has driven his shoulder into Bitty’s stomach and rearranged his organs. His stomach is in his throat, his lungs are where his heart should be, and his heart is so heavy it’s sunk to his shoes. 

Jack had always been vague about it, but Bitty knew enough. He thought he knew enough, he knew what they had been to each other, yet the scene before him hurts, it hurts in a way he didn’t know a feeling could hurt, and he’s swept back a year to another time that he listened in on something he wasn’t supposed to–and a moment where the voices had gone silent.

After a frozen moment Jack rips away.

Did he hesitate? Was it a second too long? What was he _thinking_?

“Kenny. No.” Jack has one hand planted on Parse’s chest, pushing him back. Was there a shake in his voice? Was he unsure about this?

“C’mon, Zimms. _C’mon_.” Parse’s eyes are hooded and stormy, fingers still tangled in the buttons of Jack’s shirt. “We’re _good_.”

“Kenny, I…” The hand is still keeping them at arm’s length. “Listen, I’m…I’m really happy. Right now.”

Bitty’s heart lurches back up, lodging itself in the back of his throat.

Jack continues haltingly, in the same voice he used the first time he called Bitty after gradutation, when he was trying to articulate his feelings for the first time. “And…it took me a long time. To get here. To be happy.”

“And I’m messing it up.” Parse replies darkly, wrenching his hands away from Jack. His eyes are almost black now, but not with want. Bitty tries to interpret the wretched look on his face as hatred or anger, but he recognizes that look. He’s seen it in the mirror, when he was twelve, when he was fifteen, when he was nineteen and folding Chowder’s clothes only feet from where they stand now; the fear that comes with knowing what you want is impossible.

“Not–” Jack starts, then takes a breath and begins again. “Only since five seconds ago, but I–”

“You seeing someone, Zimms?” Parse interrupts, almost laughing.

Bitty swallows hard. He imagines himself stepping confidently out of the closet for the second time in his life, latching onto Jack and saying  _“Yes, he’s seeing me! I’m his boyfriend! I would never hurt him the way you have!”_ But he is rooted to the spot, knees cramping from his crouched position, eyes dry and stinging, wondering if that would even be true.

Something must show on Jack’s face, because Parse finally steps back, looking down. “Wow,” he says shortly. “I’m so fucking pathetic.” He fumbles the Aces cap out of his pocket and shoves it onto his head.

Jack takes a step, hand out. “Kenny–”

“Don’t. Just…don’t call me that. Sorry I barged in. Again. See you at the next game.” He leaves, and Bitty feels his heart reaching out, but he’s not sure for whom. Jack looks like he may follow, might catch up to him on the stairs and do _something_ , something to get rid of that expression on his face, something that might let him say “Kenny” again–

Bitty pushes open the closet door.

Jack spins, shocked, and his eyes lock with Bitty’s. 

Bitty feels tears welling in his eyes, a sob catching his throat, and then Jack is there, knees to the floor, arms coming around him.

“Bits?!” Jack is shaking, eyes red and panicked as he presses their foreheads desperately together. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That wasn’t– I didn’t–”

Bitty shakes his head over and over again, throat too clogged to make words. He’s not mad, he’s not. He’s just…he’s sad. He’s sad for himself and he’s sad for Jack and he’s sad for the boy downstairs buoying across a college party alone. He hugs Jack tightly, shaking, hoping it will somehow get through. Knowing that Kent Parson would never accept a hug from him but hoping beyond hope that he will take it from someone, that someone will see him the way he sees Jack. Someone. Anyone. It can’t be him. He can’t make pies for Kent Parson.

Bitty hugs Jack and prays for Kent, and is selfishly glad that Jack is here with him and not saying “Kenny” on the stairs.

But he leaves Kent’s kiss on Jack’s mouth just a little longer. Bitty can give him that much.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://zim-tits.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
